Ever think you are the only one who talks to themselves? You’re not alone!
I tend to talk a lot to myself, in fact, I find myself talking when I’m walking, on the bus, in the market…
Everyone has a voice chattering inside their head, giving approval and criticising. You may think it doesn’t matter but it does! Because you are THE ONLY ONE listening to it.
What tone does your inner voice use most often? Is it friendly and encouraging, celebrating the small and big wins in your day? Or is your inner critic, making harsh comments?
Today I found myself beating up MYSELF with my inner critic again. My inner critic was AGAIN criticising me because of my one small mistake: ”How could you do that? You’ll never get better at this you silly!” It was again using my perfectionism as a weapon
Often we speak to ourselves with words we would never say to a friend, often without even realising it. You may think that there are benefits to having an inner critic. Sometimes you need a little elbow in the ribs to move you forward or strengthen your resolve. But this is better coming from the encouraging voice of a cheerleader rather than the spinning of the inner critic.
Does it matter if your inner critic is being unkind or hurtful? Yes, it does! What is the benefit of being told you’re stupid, that you look like a mess, you’re rubbish at something or lazy? When what you say to yourself makes you feel bad, your inner voice is serving no helpful purpose.
How your inner critic phrases its comments play a big part in how YOU make yourself feel. Speaking in absolute words can be damning.
If you send an email to the wrong person you might tell yourself ‘I’m such an idiot’ rather than ‘it was a mistake not to double-check the email before sending’. In the first statement, you label yourself as an idiot while in the second one which is more accurate – you make a mistake. And it doesn’t define you as an idiotic person.
The difference between the two statements may appear subtle, but the message you’re giving to yourself is very different. The language you use has an impact on your state of mind, how you see yourself and what you do.
Remember Belief -> Action -> Result. Meaning: Your beliefs about yourself determine your actions and your actions will determine the results that you get.
Don’t let your inner voice to control your beliefs about yourself. Your inner voice is yours and YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER IT. Use it NOT as a critic but as a motivator.
Be your own best friend!